Conversations with children about digital hygiene and moderation in using screen devices are not easy. Developing brains are not yet ready to face the attention-grabbing mechanisms according to which games, social media, and apps are built. Often, children have to fight not only the chemical processes occurring in their brains when using screens but also their parents.
Therefore, the first piece of advice we have for concerned parents is... TALK. It sounds obvious, but from experience, we know that in many cases, it's not so easy to talk daily about the coolest game or character, favorite YouTuber, or TikTok profile. Yes, I'm starting with such topics, not digital hygiene rules, because building a foundation of trust and knowledge about what our children are interested in online gives a better chance of success in the conversation. Let's also share our experiences, weaving into daily conversations what has happened to us or what we are struggling with. My children, for example, know about my weakness for a building block game that devoured my time, and they saw how I set a daily time limit for this app to control it. They saw the implementation of digital hygiene rules in practice and understood my motivation. I also showed them a situation where my favorite Instagrammer, whom we sometimes watch together, became a victim of hate. This became a pretext for a short conversation about what can be done in such a situation.
Over time, also as the child matures, we will be able to move with them to further stages of advancement in internet use, and the list of topics to discuss will grow from screen time control, through cybersecurity, relationships with artificial intelligence, and hate. We know that a family contract can be helpful in some conversations – a list that can support leading such a conversation in the family. This is, of course, only a suggestion – it can be changed depending on the needs and age of the children. However, it's good to consider before we start what are the key topics we want to discuss and ensure that the agreed rules are understood by everyone. An example list can be downloaded here:
Good luck!